SECOND LIFE (2003) REVIEW

So bad you'll begin to appreciate your first life.

PC exclusive.

Second Life is a virtual world game published and developed by Linden Lab for the PC.

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TOONTOWN (2003) REVIEW

Not one for the kids... Or for anyone really.

PC exclusive.

Toontown was a Massively multiplayer online game published by Disney and developed by Disney Interactive for the PC.

GAMEPLAY
Never have I seen such a game with such little imagination or effort put into it. There is no variety in tasks, the main content the game offers, as every single one in the game is a fetch quest. Almost all the buildings look the same on the inside no matter how imaginative or interesting the name sounds on the outside. All the cog content ends up boiling down to doing the same thing over and over again too, whether grinding through buildings. that whilst different looking to toon buildings, all still look the same, or battling the same boss over and over by doing the same dungeon-like run thing before hand a million times.

The game has absolutely no skill level to it at all, whether you've just started or are right at the end game it doesn't mean much, other than the fact that you have been prepared to put yourself through a huge amount of boring, repetitive, grindy rubbish that most people wouldn't be able to stand. It's depressing to stand back and realise what a huge waste of time it is doing anything in this game because nothing is rewarding.

Seriously. The skill required for this game is really just down to grinding and luck. If I asked you to think of notable moments from any game you've played perhaps you'd been able to tell me one, whether good or bad, something you remembered. Toontown though? It's so flat that I couldn't really tell you much and I played it for years.

The level design is it at a minimum really, with most places just being streets with the same houses. You spend most of the game running up and down the streets to different buildings (that all have incredibly similar if not the same interiors). You can't teleport to them or anything, and there's the chance they've been taken over by cogs so you'll have to switch to another district, all just to consume more of your time. That's it.

Let's not forget the cog bosses though, which you have to grind a dungeon-like place to actual face in the first place. They can actually be quite fun the first few times but afterwards become yet another monotonous journey of doing the same thing over and over.

What's even worse is that the gag track sound is completely overpowered. You can breeze through most cog battles with it. Every one uses it because it gets things done the fastest. There's no real reason to use anything else because it has among the best accuracy of the different tracks in the game and requires such little thought to use as the group just has to spam it.

Racing is like Mario Kart but awful. Golf is a boring slog.

The only good thing this game could be used for was checking if your child has an addictive personality. There is such little incentive to choose this over so many great games kids could actually play, Pokemon is a turn based game kids can play, or the many Playstation platformers like Crash, Spyro, Sly Cooper or Ratchet & Clank.

You know you must have created a boring, terrible game when certain players of the game only participate to ruin other players experience by "Greening" them. An act where one player purposefully causes others to lose. I mean, yikes. It's really rather sad when you think about it.

Fishing isn't that bad for what it is but is incredibly grindy due to the rarity of some fish. I actually fell asleep... playing a game... when I was doing fishing once though, so that really is something.

They might not be that original but the trolley mini games are probably the best part of the game such as Toon Slingshot, that requires a little bit of thinking to do well at. Photo fun just doesn't work though and is pretty broken - it actually stands out, which is something considering the state of this game.

GRAPHICS

Not terrible but riddled with bugs.

SOUND
The soundtrack isn't terrible but it gets boring fast. It really could have done with more tracks. After you've played the game for a while you might begin to wonder that if there is a Hell, Minnie's Melodyland might just be it.

VALUE FOR MONEY

Outrageous asking price for such a little amount of content and lack of updates.

OVERALL
This game does nothing new and uses Disney characters to mask its dreary, shallow, pitiful experience that was solely designed to make money. The only possible fun from this unimaginative pile of drivel is from playing it with friends, but almost any game is fun with friends. It's a poor excuse for a game. Thank goodness it got shut down.

FINDING NEMO REVIEW

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GBA version reviewed.

Finding Nemo is an adventure published by THQ and developed by Vicarious Visions for the Playstation 2, Xbox, Gamecube, Game Boy Advance and PC.

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AWARDS SEASON: BEST GAME OF THE YEAR 2002

Overall winner

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus

Honourable mentions

Pokemon Ruby

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE WIND WAKER

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GC exclusive.

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker is a game published and developed by Nintendo for the Gamecube.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS REVIEW

Playstation version reviewed.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is an adventure game published by EA Games and developed by Argonaut for the Playstation, Playstation 2, Xbox, Gamecube, Game Boy Colour, Game Boy Advance and PC.

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RATCHET & CLANK (2002) REVIEW

A bit better than Agent 9: The Game, although not too much better.

PS2 exclusive.

Ratchet & Clank is a platformer published by Sony and developed by Insomniac Games for the Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Vita and "reimagined" for Playstation 4.

GAMEPLAY
You can't shoot and move around in 1st person, a lot like everyone's favourite Spyro character Agent 9. I must say that Insomniac deserve some credit for starting a series similar to the most unpopular part of their former series.

I have never ever seen a game with worse checkpoints. Sometimes you'll have to redo a whole level just because you slipped off a platform at the final part. This just leads to huge frustration and me scratching my head at such a bizarre idea. I really can't reiterate this point enough. Some of the checkpoints are simply shocking and you'll have to replay so many segments over and over again because of how terrible they are.

Switching to other weapons through the quick menu simply doesn't work very well, as you have to use the analog stick to select a new weapon, meaning Ratchet will just stand still while you do it, as you're having to do it so quickly you'll often get the wrong weapon too. Why not just slow down the game while the player selects, or even just freeze the game, something, almost anything would be better than what's in the game.

Sometimes the hook won't attach to things and you'll fall off despite doing what the game wants you to do. Sometimes you can even land on moving platforms and fall off.

To get all of the weapons you'll have to grind to be able to afford them all. I find that hugely disappointing as I hate things like that, why should I even have to grind for things like that? Why not just give out more money for me to spend and keep a nice flow to the game, rather than running off and hitting the same old tired enemies again and again.

The auto-aim on guns is awful at times, meaning you have to awkwardly hop around and waste ammo hoping that that'll finally allow you to hit some enemies.

Turret sections. Why did these have to be in the game? Insomniac showed with the Spyro series how to perfectly implement things like this, where they were minor and just served as means to get to the next part, or even hidden parts of levels, here they're just shoved in your face with the usual thousands of enemies crowding around with you having to shoot them, they're missiles and the big target you'd got in to destroy.

While we're on the topic of Spyro, all the levels in that felt inspired, the way they were designed and put together, along with so much more made the game so much fun to play. Here in this game I rarely got that feeling, most levels felt pretty boring or similar to others and quite frankly I just didn't find it very fun playing through some.

There is some good in this game though, loads of new ideas and plenty of different weapons for different scenarios, such as the Visibomb gun where you can guide the rockets yourself. Some of the Clank puzzles were interesting and there were some cool moments, such as escaping the rising waters in the sewers on Blackwater.

STORY
I didn't really like Ratchet, I know he's supposed to develop into a more likeable character but that story arc failed to win me over really, and I know the story shouldn't be taken to seriously but Insomniac have done well with this stuff before, look at the Sorceress from Year of the Dragon. Even in spite of the development I just didn't really like Ratchet, as well as his Crash Bandicoot reject appearance.

GRAPHICS

Looks pretty good.

SOUND
The soundtrack kind of reminded me of The Matrix, although not as good. The music was just there really, I didn't feel it enhanced anything too much, nor did it really ruin anything.

VALUE FOR MONEY

Takes around 10 hours to finish the story.

OVERALL
Quite frankly, I haven't played many more frustrating games than this one. It's a real shame because one of the reasons it's so annoying is that you can see some really good ideas in it, but they're crushed by some of the flaws that the game has. I just really didn't enjoy may segments of this game at all, but after seeing  how great this franchise managed to become in later instalments, it at least supplied the ground work for those to come.

Of course this game isn't a complete mess, and you can see the huge potential it has, even if it fails to reach it in many aspects, and the game was clearly enough for most people to check out a sequel. Personally though, I'd recommend Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus over this any day if you're looking for a great platformer that fulfils its potential (Franchise wise however, they ended up going opposite ways).